A Traumatizing Decision
Ending a pregnancy is a
traumatizing decision for parents. There are times when a pregnancy leads to an
unexpected, medical termination for one reason or another. This usually happens
when doctors detect a medical problem with the unborn baby or there is a health-related,
life-threatening problem with the mother and the doctors feel that they have no other choice than to recommend medical
termination of the pregnancy.
Both of these scenarios have
short and long-term implications for parents, particularly the mother and the
aborted baby. Both involve making a traumatizing decision.
“No one who conceives a pregnancy expects to have to terminate it for
medical reasons or for a normally happy event to become one of sadness.”
Medical termination of a
pregnancy is not an easy decision for any parent to make. At times, the
decision becomes one that the mother has to make on her own. At other times,
the decision is made by the baby’s father, if or when the mother’s life is in danger
and she is not able to be part of the decision-making process. Parents can make
the decision together, but even that is not easy.
While medical termination of a
pregnancy is optional and often regarded as the best possible decision by
physicians, the parents in each situation may respond to this kind of medical
resolution in a positive or a negative way. They may agree or disagree with the
recommendation by doctors and specialists. They may consent to it or fight
against the medical
decision.
Note that in terms of short or
long-term implications, there are always physical, mental, emotional and
spiritual aspects of the termination of a pregnancy to take into consideration.
Some of these are immediate, but not all of them. Even many years later,
parents may still suffer painful, mental and emotional trauma because of the
decision they made.
“It is not how many children
you have, but always the one you lost,” says a grieving mother, many years
later.
At times, there is no other
possible option, particularly when the mother’s life is at stake in an
emergency. At times, it comes down to a choice between the life of a mother and
the life of her unborn baby.
Attempting to make the right
decision about the medical termination of a pregnancy, can lead to short or
long-term marital conflict that is difficult, at times impossible to resolve.
It can also lead to an eventual marriage breakup.
Medical termination of a
pregnancy can put the mother’s own life at risk, as well as present a serious
problem with respect to future pregnancies, particularly if she does not
receive proper medical attention.
Parents sometimes choose to
allow their baby to be born, even when they know that it is an extremely
high-risk pregnancy. When a baby has a known genetic defect, parents can find
themselves caught up in a devastating dilemma. Is the diagnosis correct?
Should there be further investigation? Should they allow the baby to be born
regardless of his or her potential medical status and the extensive medical
demands and requirements with respect to the baby’s future care? At times, this
can be extremely costly.
Even when there is consent from
both parents with respect to the medical termination of a pregnancy, there can
be tremendous mental and emotional implications for both parents and other
family members, at that time or later.
Grief and guilt associated with
ending the life of an unborn baby is something that parents have to live with.
For many that is not easy, particularly for those who strongly believe that all
human life is sacred.
Parents considering the
possibility of a medical termination of a pregnancy should receive appropriate
medical, spiritual and psychiatric advice and counseling, as there are short
and long-term implications that will affect their lives. There may also be
moral, ethical and legal consequences to consider, depending upon the
circumstances of the medical termination of a pregnancy.
Medical termination of a
pregnancy is a life changing, traumatizing decision for parents.
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