The prince or male figure in
the story of Cinderella is not usually the focus of attention. In the article,
“The Cinderella Complex and the Prince's Problems” Colette Dowling, the
writer of the “Cinderella Complex”, comments on the male
role.
“Males are educated for
independence from the day they are born. Just as systematically, females are
taught that they have an out, that someday, in some way women are going to be
saved. That’s the fairy tale, the life message women have interjected as if
with mother’s milk.” As Ms. Dowling concludes that paragraph, she states, “The
only savior the
boy learns about is himself.”
The male referred to in this article is the
prince.
Heffner is the host on “The
Open Mind” is interviewing Colette Dowling and comments, “There’s no prince
that’s going to rescue me.” Is there a reason why Heffner sees a need for
intervention on the part of the prince? Is his personal lack of security and
fear of independence surfacing? The prince in the Cinderella story has the role
of rescuing a princess and obviously, he fills that role. Is this against his
will? The prince and princess live happily ever after, so that does not seem
highly likely.
Interestingly, the story of
Cinderella has a third party who intervenes on behalf of both the princess and
the prince. She is the fairy godmother, but she does not seem to need to take
any action to persuade him to take on his role.
In reality, boys are often
jealous of their sisters or other girls, who are dependent on a male figure in
their lives. Some resent the reality that they were born boys and not girls, as
girls appear to have fewer demands placed upon them, often receive more compassion
and expressions of love.
Other males do not want to
assume any responsibility for girls. Even preteen and teenage boys may opt out
of the harsher reality of the expected lifestyle of males obligated to learn
how to be men and protect females. This can carry through into their adult
lives where they have difficulty assuming the responsibility of being husbands
and fathers.
Boys and even young men, or
older men who are compassionate, have sensitive spirits and an attitude of love
for girls, woman and even older women, are more likely to assume a
romantic, protective, responsible princely role. It is their gentler side that
surfaces in a caring and affectionate manner.
The young boy, teenager or man
of any age, who has a negative self-image, is often attracted to a female who
brings out the best in him. In his eyes, she is beautiful, worth loving and
adoring towards him. He will seek to protect and shelter her.
At other times, it takes a good, fairy godmother figure to intervene and turn the frog into a prince in the eyes
of the young female and even in his own mind. The more he assumes a gentle,
protective role, the more an insecure, dependent female trusts in him and turns
to him when in distress.
If a boy, young man or a man of
any age, turns from being a prince in the eyes of a female to being a frog or
acting like one, repulsion may set it.
The time element is crucial for
the prince and princess, as there is a limited amount of time for the female to
accept and assume the role of princess for her male-turned prince. The female’s
eyes opened by the fairy godmother, help her to see her rightful role in a
timely fashion, even though it may take some kind of a glass slipper to define
their match as being mutually appropriate. The Cinderella timing works
perfectly.
Is the Cinderella complex
identifiable in males? Gender issues may enter into the picture as a male
assumes a female role in part or in total. This can also happen with respect to
females who would prefer being male, even princes in their own right. In
conclusion, one might suggest that there is still much to discover about the
male role in the Cinderella fairy tale.
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