Not Having Any Children: Have Faith When Desire Is Not Enough

Desire does not guarantee fulfillment, nor has desire ever offered the promise of its own fulfillment. Every child can attest to that, as can every teenager and adult, regardless of his or her age. Think for a moment about how many females never have their conscious or unconscious desires filled. The same is true with respect to those females wanting children, who are advised that for medical reasons, or whatever, they can't have children, which comes as a shock to many.

Having no children sounds like a horrible verdict that can seem like the worst fate in the world, particularly because family means everything to most people. Not having children is a departure from the norm, both in terms of actual numbers and with respect to moral and ethical guidelines for society, where the continuation of family life is very important in terms of survival of the human race.

There is also an adverse, blame game invariably associated with the guilt, real or imagined, that breaks up homes and marriages when females cannot have children. In reality, most expect to have children and when their expectations are not met, for whatever reason, it can be mentally and emotionally devastating.

At the same time, no female really knows the path that her life is destined to take, either on a short term or long term basis. Sometimes there are nasty curves on the road of life that include not having the blessing of children.

Of course, there are females who do not want children for various reasons too, even while others who cannot have children yearn for fulfillment as mothers. There are other females, who keep on having children, one after the other, even though they do not really want them and cannot provide for them properly. Somehow, this does not seem fair, but it is a harsh reality.

Potential grandmothers often want grandchildren, whether their daughters want children or not.

Not having children can seem like a curse, but can also prove to be a blessing in disguise, leading to other options for fulfillment of maternal desires. Many childless females take on professional roles that involve children on different levels, like teaching or nursing. Options, like adoption or foster children, are possible, as well.

But there are times when not having children is preferable, particularly when there are abusive relationships wherein children might be subjected to senseless suffering. Not all females are necessarily suitable candidates for motherhood, particularly when there is ongoing abuse with alcohol of other addictive substances. Not all females are mentally and emotionally stable enough to raise children, even though they think that they may be good mothers.

Every female imagines a perfect world in one way or another, sometimes with children, but not always. That perfect world may be one that is childless. 

Sometimes, desire is simply not enough, regardless of one's desires for a family, even when it includes manipulating all of the viable medical or surgical options that are available. At times, the impossible just takes longer.

With all of the hungry children in the world, the role of other mother can bring the kind of maternal fulfillment that a female needs and desires in a humanitarian sense of the word.

Faith in God's promises may be the final solution to the dilemma of childlessness, as there is the reality of spiritual children.  

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