Desire does not guarantee fulfillment, nor has desire ever offered the promise of its own fulfillment. Every child can attest to that, as can every teenager and adult, regardless of his or her age. Think for a moment about how many females never have their conscious or unconscious desires filled. The same is true with respect to those females wanting children, who are advised that for medical reasons, or whatever, they can't have children, which comes as a shock to many.
Having no children sounds like
a horrible verdict that can seem like the worst fate in the world, particularly
because family means everything to most people. Not having children is a departure
from the norm, both in terms of actual numbers and with respect to moral and
ethical guidelines for society, where the continuation of family life is very
important in terms of survival of the human race.
There is also an adverse, blame
game invariably associated with the guilt, real or imagined, that breaks up
homes and marriages when females cannot have children. In reality, most expect
to have children and when their expectations are not met, for whatever reason,
it can be mentally and emotionally devastating.
At the same time, no female
really knows the path that her life is destined to take, either on a short term
or long term basis. Sometimes there are nasty curves on the road of life that
include not having the blessing of children.
Of course, there are females
who do not want children for various reasons too, even while others who cannot
have children yearn for fulfillment as mothers. There are other females, who
keep on having children, one after the other, even though they do not really
want them and cannot provide for them properly. Somehow, this does not seem
fair, but it is a harsh reality.
Potential grandmothers often
want grandchildren, whether their daughters want children or not.
Not having children can seem
like a curse, but can also prove to be a blessing in disguise, leading to other
options for fulfillment of maternal desires. Many childless females take on
professional roles that involve children on different levels, like teaching or
nursing. Options, like adoption or foster children, are possible, as well.
But there are times when not
having children is preferable, particularly when there are abusive
relationships wherein children might be subjected to senseless suffering. Not
all females are necessarily suitable candidates for motherhood, particularly
when there is ongoing abuse with alcohol of other addictive substances. Not all
females are mentally and emotionally stable enough to raise children, even
though they think that they may be good mothers.
Every female imagines a perfect
world in one way or another, sometimes with children, but not always. That
perfect world may be one that is childless.
Sometimes, desire is simply not
enough, regardless of one's desires for a family, even when it includes
manipulating all of the viable medical or surgical options that are available.
At times, the impossible just takes longer.
With all of the hungry children
in the world, the role of other mother can bring the kind of maternal
fulfillment that a female needs and desires in a humanitarian sense of the
word.
Faith in God's promises may be
the final solution to the dilemma of childlessness, as there is the reality of
spiritual children.
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